What is conventional these days? Is it really following accepted customs, and conforming to accepted standards? Because, if so, then being conventional today, is being different. It has definitely become a standard to be different, and most people have conformed to this idea. There is such a need inside each human being to be different, that too often, anything is done to satisfy this need.
People all over the globe, look at those that are “typically” conventional, and instead of seeing the positive side, they believe that those “conventionals” are the excuse of unsuccessful individuality.
A girlfriend of mine, had a child at 22, a very conventional age back in the day, she just did it by herself, not so conventional. She opted for an 8-5 job, after her life was mostly shift work in the tourism industry, somewhat conventional (as she couldn’t really stay at home, and cook and clean – child has to eat you know…) She still makes time for herself, enjoys going out with friends, can talk about other topics, then just her child, and is not planning to settle down – not so conventional. She has a white picket fence at home – very conventional, but it came with the house.
So, is my girlfriend choosing conventional living as a fallback position? No! She is simply living a life different than yours!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one idea
Spontaneous combustion. This is often what I think happens to be people with only one idea. They are so excited about the possibility, and forget to look at long term consequences, good or bad. I am sure that this is often the reason why so many businesses, especially small ones, are doomed from the beginning.
But, I believe that one idea is generally born from another. Look for instance at our thought process, we start thinking about our grocery list and the next thing, you are thinking about that new spa your friend told you about, that offers great reflexology…
We all are in the pursuit of happiness, and the possibility of a single idea giving us just that, is pretty amazing. But like most things in life, when you decide to put that idea in action, it needs to be structured. Answer the tough questions first. Is it doable? Is there a need? Do you really want to? Be realistic. Ask opinions from everyone around. Ask them to be subjective. (I suggest not asking people who might hurt your feelings by their opinions, or, you can ask them, and if they are negative, and in 10 years time you are super dooper rich, you can give them a lovely expensive gift – to say thank you!) Most importantly, have fun with it, because you will be putting plenty of time and effort into it!
Nothing is more dangerous than a single idea, so, have more!!
But, I believe that one idea is generally born from another. Look for instance at our thought process, we start thinking about our grocery list and the next thing, you are thinking about that new spa your friend told you about, that offers great reflexology…
We all are in the pursuit of happiness, and the possibility of a single idea giving us just that, is pretty amazing. But like most things in life, when you decide to put that idea in action, it needs to be structured. Answer the tough questions first. Is it doable? Is there a need? Do you really want to? Be realistic. Ask opinions from everyone around. Ask them to be subjective. (I suggest not asking people who might hurt your feelings by their opinions, or, you can ask them, and if they are negative, and in 10 years time you are super dooper rich, you can give them a lovely expensive gift – to say thank you!) Most importantly, have fun with it, because you will be putting plenty of time and effort into it!
Nothing is more dangerous than a single idea, so, have more!!
“Rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk for people who can’t read” (Frank Zappa)
So then why call it journalism? Because, that is exactly what Metal is about – going against the rules!!
When you read this statement, it sounds like Zappa is saying anyone who can’t be a traditional journo, can be a rock journo. Wrong! Have you read the Ten commandments of Rock Journalism, posted on Ultimate Guitar.com? Firstly, you need to know your shit. And this is not based on whether you like it or not. Can you hear the harmonic progressions and rhythmic patterns, and comment on them?
Secondly, can you be open to all types of forms of metal? And there is a wide variety. Can you comment, positively about the music of Christina Aguillera, and Black Sabbath?
Thirdly, oh, forget thirdly, I don’t even listen to Metal music.
Zappa is a fantastic music legend, who died at a too young age, but what the hell was he smoking when he said this? If you can’t write, then why a journalist, and obviously the guys that are interviewed can’t talk, cause they are shouting things like DEATH!!! While guitar strings are being hammered, and if this is for people who can’t read, why the hell am I writing this?!
When you read this statement, it sounds like Zappa is saying anyone who can’t be a traditional journo, can be a rock journo. Wrong! Have you read the Ten commandments of Rock Journalism, posted on Ultimate Guitar.com? Firstly, you need to know your shit. And this is not based on whether you like it or not. Can you hear the harmonic progressions and rhythmic patterns, and comment on them?
Secondly, can you be open to all types of forms of metal? And there is a wide variety. Can you comment, positively about the music of Christina Aguillera, and Black Sabbath?
Thirdly, oh, forget thirdly, I don’t even listen to Metal music.
Zappa is a fantastic music legend, who died at a too young age, but what the hell was he smoking when he said this? If you can’t write, then why a journalist, and obviously the guys that are interviewed can’t talk, cause they are shouting things like DEATH!!! While guitar strings are being hammered, and if this is for people who can’t read, why the hell am I writing this?!
Every day is a good day
Ok, so what is a good day? I mean, the perfect day does not exist, not in the real world of routine anyway. The other day I dropped my goddaughter at playschool (her mother got a flat tyre on the way there. Me to the rescue!!) Her 2-year old, little face lit up as she said hi to friends and started picking up crayons for drawing. Not a care in the world. The rest of my day…well I can’t remember much. Now, I can say that was a good day, but if you asked me at the end of the day, I probably would’ve said that I am sick of irritated, angry melo-dramatic voices on the other side of the line, can’t handle another day without additional assistance, in desperate need of a holiday, would like to remember how relaxed shoulders feel like, and would love not to go back to work tomorrow. The point is, when you reflect on your day, only think about the things that you will remember in a couple of days. Forget the stuff that doesn’t matter, don’t even spend time thinking about them. You will find something good about your day. Whether it is waking up next to the one you love, going to the job you truly enjoy, seeing a friend that means the world, sitting in the sun, enjoying a cup of coffee, helping your girlfriend by taking your goddaughter to school, and reminisce about being a kid…
It is better to practice a little than talk a lot
I despise people who talk about what they want to do, but do absolutely nothing about it. God created the earth and everything in it, it took him 6 days, and I am sure, even He, had to lift a finger. I am sick, and I am tired, and I am sick and tired, of all these people complaining about their circumstances, and then go right back to living those circumstances. I believe each individual has a choice. The opportunities are out there if you have the drive to research them. Sometimes you need to take time, and define who you are and what exactly you need to change your situation, but it is possible. The big deal is actually taking that step that youve been dreaming of!
It is a poor idea to lie to yourself
Indeed it is! Being a Libra does not only mean I’m indecisive but also the queen of PROCRASTINATION! So I find myself lying to myself quite often when it comes to due dates....
So in the beginning of the year I got my dissertation assignment which would be due for 23 October. One whole year to do this! Promising myself that this one will be different than all the other due dates, (knowing that I always end up stressing like a mad woman because of procrastination) I conveniently slid the assignment into the back of my book.
I promised myself I will finish this baby before my June holidays, in order for me to enjoy my Mozambique to the max! NADA! On my way to Mozam, I lied to myself convincing myself that when I get back, I’ll tackle the dissertation with a smile…there’s still enough time. NADA x 2!!
September came, and we booked our plane tickets to Thailand! Surely I’ll finish my dissertation before then?! There’s still enough time! NADA x 3!!! On our way back from Thailand (3 weeks before due date!) I lied to myself again by declaring that three weeks are more than enough to finish a dissertation that was given to me at the beginning of the year- I’m going to be FINE! NADA x 4!!!!
I ended up starting a whopping two weeks before, lying to my myself again convincing myself everything will be fine! I was a wreck, didn’t sleep the night before D-day, silently freaking out, biting my nails….I printed an hour before, not giving a damn about my half-ass Literature Review! But I submitted in time…and went to pop the champers for a job well done- which is such a lie!!
So in the beginning of the year I got my dissertation assignment which would be due for 23 October. One whole year to do this! Promising myself that this one will be different than all the other due dates, (knowing that I always end up stressing like a mad woman because of procrastination) I conveniently slid the assignment into the back of my book.
I promised myself I will finish this baby before my June holidays, in order for me to enjoy my Mozambique to the max! NADA! On my way to Mozam, I lied to myself convincing myself that when I get back, I’ll tackle the dissertation with a smile…there’s still enough time. NADA x 2!!
September came, and we booked our plane tickets to Thailand! Surely I’ll finish my dissertation before then?! There’s still enough time! NADA x 3!!! On our way back from Thailand (3 weeks before due date!) I lied to myself again by declaring that three weeks are more than enough to finish a dissertation that was given to me at the beginning of the year- I’m going to be FINE! NADA x 4!!!!
I ended up starting a whopping two weeks before, lying to my myself again convincing myself everything will be fine! I was a wreck, didn’t sleep the night before D-day, silently freaking out, biting my nails….I printed an hour before, not giving a damn about my half-ass Literature Review! But I submitted in time…and went to pop the champers for a job well done- which is such a lie!!
Not all who wander are lost
I have this girlfriend, Nina, and she has this brother, Nathan, and he has this cat, Whiskers, and he…
No, just kidding.
But truly, I have this friend Nina, who has this brother, Nathan who has this problem: Peer pressure.
I was fortunate enough to be among a group of friends that had the same sense of direction, when I was younger, and therefore never had an issue with peer pressure.
But poor Nathan, he suffered from ADD as a young boy, was always misunderstood (aren’t we all??), and seemed to be the pet hate of teachers. Now, with this hanging over the boy, he did everything possible to be cool with his friends. I mean everything, from buying a packet of ciggies, and selling them individually at school (junior, that is)– to stealing his aunt’s car and smashing it into a church wall! (Karma…) Nathan ended in a facility for youth delinquents, this by trying to impress so-called friends.
I am glad to announce that Nathan has turned into a mature (as mature as men can get) young man. When people hear his story, they judge, and tell all his family how lucky they are that he turned out to be such a well-balanced man. My question? If he did not endure all these things, if his family did not try to understand and see reason where there was no more to be seen. If they gave up hoping for a better future for him… Would he be this well balanced man. My point? We all wander, it simply is part of life. None of us are lost. Some of us find ourselves, others are found.
No, just kidding.
But truly, I have this friend Nina, who has this brother, Nathan who has this problem: Peer pressure.
I was fortunate enough to be among a group of friends that had the same sense of direction, when I was younger, and therefore never had an issue with peer pressure.
But poor Nathan, he suffered from ADD as a young boy, was always misunderstood (aren’t we all??), and seemed to be the pet hate of teachers. Now, with this hanging over the boy, he did everything possible to be cool with his friends. I mean everything, from buying a packet of ciggies, and selling them individually at school (junior, that is)– to stealing his aunt’s car and smashing it into a church wall! (Karma…) Nathan ended in a facility for youth delinquents, this by trying to impress so-called friends.
I am glad to announce that Nathan has turned into a mature (as mature as men can get) young man. When people hear his story, they judge, and tell all his family how lucky they are that he turned out to be such a well-balanced man. My question? If he did not endure all these things, if his family did not try to understand and see reason where there was no more to be seen. If they gave up hoping for a better future for him… Would he be this well balanced man. My point? We all wander, it simply is part of life. None of us are lost. Some of us find ourselves, others are found.
How do you step from the top of a 100-foot pole
Step waan: don’t panic
Step two: don’t take step. Rather crawl back down. I mean, how did you get up there in the first place??
I get it, we all are faced with difficult decisions. We find ourselves at these crossroads, left or right, wide or narrow, incline or decline.
Take my kid sister, she is in her last year of high school, and her step of that pole is her study field next year. My girlfriend, Jane needs to make a decision between a secure job and a travel opportunity that has been a dream – difficult in this economic climate. A colleague, Michael, would like to expand the family, but how would this affect the dynamics of married life – it’s been the two of them for nearly a decade. Man in traffic needs to decide if there is enough time to cross lanes before oncoming vehicles pass him (did he see that overloaded taxi driving in the emergency lane?). Young girl stands with positive pregnancy test in her hand.
All these decisions, big or small to you and me, is the most important thing to these people, at that very moment. Some will climb back down, some will jump with joy, others will be pushed.
Small step for my sister, Jane, Michael, the man, the young girl. One giant leap for their future.
And remember: Step three, in the end everything will be ok, if it’s not ok, it’s not the end.
Step two: don’t take step. Rather crawl back down. I mean, how did you get up there in the first place??
I get it, we all are faced with difficult decisions. We find ourselves at these crossroads, left or right, wide or narrow, incline or decline.
Take my kid sister, she is in her last year of high school, and her step of that pole is her study field next year. My girlfriend, Jane needs to make a decision between a secure job and a travel opportunity that has been a dream – difficult in this economic climate. A colleague, Michael, would like to expand the family, but how would this affect the dynamics of married life – it’s been the two of them for nearly a decade. Man in traffic needs to decide if there is enough time to cross lanes before oncoming vehicles pass him (did he see that overloaded taxi driving in the emergency lane?). Young girl stands with positive pregnancy test in her hand.
All these decisions, big or small to you and me, is the most important thing to these people, at that very moment. Some will climb back down, some will jump with joy, others will be pushed.
Small step for my sister, Jane, Michael, the man, the young girl. One giant leap for their future.
And remember: Step three, in the end everything will be ok, if it’s not ok, it’s not the end.
We are what we do
I agree. What we do defines us. Who we hang out with defines us. What we read. What we think. What we say. What we don’t say. Who we love. What we love. Why we love. Why we don’t love. How we spend our time. To who we give our time. How valuable you manage your time. What we eat. How we eat. How fast do we eat? How slow do we eat? Where do we eat? Where do we shop? What we choose to spend our money on? What do we earn? What do we want to earn? What do we drive? How do we drive? How fast or slow do we drive? What do we wish to drive? What do we think of others? What do others think of us? Do we give a damn about what others think? Were do we work? Do we want to work there? Where do we wish to work? How do we work? How do we view our job? What type of friends do we choose? How much effort do we put into our relationships? What we make of our families? Do we choose to ignore the skeletons in our family closet? Do we laugh at the black sheep’s of our family? Do we agree that you really can’t choose your family? Do we miss our family when we’re not close to them? Are they important to us? Are we important to them? Are we all just the bluddy same? What makes us tick? What makes us laugh? How do we laugh? What makes us sad? What makes us mad? What makes us jealous? Do we get angry or do we get even? DO we believe in something bigger? In what do we believe? Where will we go after this life is over? Why are we even here?
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sipho and Susan
Today I mourn the relocation of my beloved Sipho and Susan.
The boyfriend and I kindof 'adopted' the bergies that stayed on the stoepie of some marketing company(whom i will be blogging about later-with the aim of creating bad publicity, mind you!) located under the flat.
So anyway, we befriended 'our bergies' like we like to call them a couple of years ago and decided to support them- The boyfriend supported financially in terms of buying stuff like toothbrushes and foodies and I supported emotionally in terms of random chats of encouragement:)
So in the past couple of years we have provided panado's for headaches, clothing in the winter months, we have witnessed Susan's eldest daughter's (of many) matric farewell photos, we have met the youngest one (that normally stays at the gran's house), coffee on rainy evenings and the list goes on and on. Its a mutually beneficial relationship really, becuase there's only off street parking and Sipho (when he wasn't high) and Susan made it their responsibility that our cars are safe, which made me feel ok. And one weekend the boyfriend dropped his flatkeys the Friday evening in a rush to a weekend away and only found out he lost it the Sunday evening when Sipho presented it to him upon arrival. How nice is that?! I firmly believe that in Cape Town you absolutely HAVE to befriend your local bergie for reasons mentioned above.
We have witnessed Susan transforming into a business woman of note in starting to sell The Big Issue, religiously buying her first and last copy each month. We have witnessed Sipho not really growing at all (after countless attempts of trying to send him to the local church to earn a worthy income)
We've recently found out that they were kicked out by the marketing company and that they cannot sleep there in the evenings anymore :(
I sincerely miss them and wish them good luck with all future endevours.
The boyfriend and I kindof 'adopted' the bergies that stayed on the stoepie of some marketing company(whom i will be blogging about later-with the aim of creating bad publicity, mind you!) located under the flat.
So anyway, we befriended 'our bergies' like we like to call them a couple of years ago and decided to support them- The boyfriend supported financially in terms of buying stuff like toothbrushes and foodies and I supported emotionally in terms of random chats of encouragement:)
So in the past couple of years we have provided panado's for headaches, clothing in the winter months, we have witnessed Susan's eldest daughter's (of many) matric farewell photos, we have met the youngest one (that normally stays at the gran's house), coffee on rainy evenings and the list goes on and on. Its a mutually beneficial relationship really, becuase there's only off street parking and Sipho (when he wasn't high) and Susan made it their responsibility that our cars are safe, which made me feel ok. And one weekend the boyfriend dropped his flatkeys the Friday evening in a rush to a weekend away and only found out he lost it the Sunday evening when Sipho presented it to him upon arrival. How nice is that?! I firmly believe that in Cape Town you absolutely HAVE to befriend your local bergie for reasons mentioned above.
We have witnessed Susan transforming into a business woman of note in starting to sell The Big Issue, religiously buying her first and last copy each month. We have witnessed Sipho not really growing at all (after countless attempts of trying to send him to the local church to earn a worthy income)
We've recently found out that they were kicked out by the marketing company and that they cannot sleep there in the evenings anymore :(
I sincerely miss them and wish them good luck with all future endevours.
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